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Well team, I’m at that point in a footballer’s career where I’m having to lie about my age to get a new deal. The only Technical Director in the world willing to give me a three-year contract is Edu, and he’s been told to be on his best behaviour this summer. It’s a sad time in a man’s life when the only people your age in the professional game are in Serie A or China. Even sadder that every 3 weeks, someone I used to play football with tells me they blew their ankle out taking a panenka penalty at the park.

If you are young, bless those quick recovery legs you have, it won’t last, then all you’ll have is pickleball and fast walks around the park for exercise.

Still, with age, comes wisdom and better writing… so here we go.

Where are my damn signings?

The sluggish pace of this window is painful viewing BECAUSE I NEED INFORMATION TO SUSTAIN MY WORLD. The deal that sounds the closest is Sambi Lokonga. Apparently, the player wants a move to London, so the late interest from Sevilla and Atalanta means little. The final price looks like it’ll be around 20m euros. An absolute steal if he can do all the things he’s doing in Belgium over here.

I can’t work out exactly who he’s coming in for, because he’s such a blend of midfield disciplines. He moves the ball from deep like Granit, but he’s also nimble over short distances. Is he the upgraded Xhaka? Vision with an athletic profile? Or is he the replacement for Dani Ceballos, who could move the ball nicely, but had zero pace.

Who knows, but I like the idea behind him. It feels clever and I like being a fast-mover on talent.

The left-back back-up situation is all over the place. YOUNG > OLD > YOUNG > OLD. This week, we’re being linked with Holland starter, Patrick van Aanholt. He’s 30 years old, super solid, and surely interested in a last hurrah at a bigger club. This is a bit like the signing of Ryan Bertrand we all went to hell over. Is it a progressive move? No. But if you accept that your best left-back is 24 years old and likely to be a stalwart in that role over the duration of his 5-year deal, you probably don’t want cover that’s too ambitious… because how good would you have to be to displace Tierney?

This signing wouldn’t thrill on any level, but when did back-up left-back ever do that?

Duncan Castles is linking Arsenal to the signing of Andre Silva. The 25-year-old Portuguese striker was one of the most prolific marksmen in Europe last season. He scored 29 goals and dropped 10 assists for a Frankfurt that rocked to 5th last season. The story is that we’ll sell Lacazette to make room for him. Honestly, this would be a very, very weird signing to make. Sure, it makes sense, because we lack that sort of specimen in our forward line… but I’m struggling to see how this would map to a priority and I’m also wondering how you marry a big move like that with the reality that you spent £350k a week on Auba who is still our captain? You don’t sign 30 goal strikers to sit on the bench… I’m also not sure we re-signed Flo Balogun to be 93rd in the pecking order next season.

There are a number of Italian outlets pushing Aaron Ramsey our way. I love the player, I love the man, I could easily be swayed into believing he’s coming home to win the league with Arsenal… but the reality is we’ve been here before. Bringing players back to Arsenal almost never works. We know what his weakness is: He’s rarely fit. He’s dropping £300k a week over there, he’s managed 6 goals and 6 assists in 2 seasons at Juve, what would we be buying outside a nice feeling?


I’m on the struggle bus with this one. It doesn’t feel grounded in anything. Maybe it looks better on the players? But it feels like a weird deviation from where the kits have been and though I am always game for something new, it has to have some anchor in club. This feels like one that didn’t make it to the final cut for Ajax.

What do you think?



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Well my darlings, I took the day off yesterday because I deserved it, I was hoping we’d see some movement in the transfer market but my hopes have been cruelly dashed.

The main story rumbling through the internet is that Arsenal are looking at Camavinga to partner with Thomas Partey next season.

I won’t lie, this is the sort of story that keeps me up at night. I spent about 12 hours on the internet hunting out crumbs that we’d move on him. I’ve watched every video going. He’s an absolute dream of a youth talent.



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It feels like I’ve been cranking content all week and what do I have to show for it?


No one sold.

No one purchased.

I am starting to lose my patience. Thinking of sending Edu a seriously firm Instagram DM about my feelings.

The Granit Xhaka story is dragging like an N’Zogbia transfer rumour of yester-window. The clubs are in the final stages of negotiations, it looks like it’s going to happen, just get it done. After watching the Italy game, I couldn’t be happier. Xhaka is solid, but you’re simply not going anywhere with a good technician with no pace in midfield. If you are going to have no pace, be Locatelli with the low-punch shots. What a talent.

The story we’re all purring over is Sambi Lokonga. We really have no idea why, other than it feels intelligent and like a Wenger singing of old. New Youtube channel Latte Firm dropped this infographic.

Do I know what it all means? No. Am I going to draw sharp conclusions that this guy is taking Arsenal back to the absolute pinnacle of European football? Absolutely.

There is business to be done this summer and I think there’s a fine balance between making sure we’re ready for next season, whilst raiding European clubs on their knees. Sambi looks like a shadow player for Thomas Partey. Both seem to boast similar features. We need squad players with levels and we need to own them. Our Madrid loan options last season gave us the worst of both worlds. Odegaard did well, we wanted him, but Madrid saw enough promise to keep him. Ceballos had an absolute shocker, stunk out our first team for the most part, so we wasted development minutes on someone else’s player.

I am diving two-footed into the Premier League talent we’re trying to sign. James Maddison, without doubt, would be an excellent signing for Arsenal. Ben White, without doubt, would be an excellent signing for what need from a defender. There’s a lot of scoffing from Arsenal fans that spent 10 years demanding we ‘spend some fucking money’, now we’re doing it on players that will settle into the first team and deliver from day one, people are complaining about fees?

Ben White is a ball-playing centre-back that has made his mistakes at other clubs, he will complement our defence and pick up the good bits of David Luiz, whilst adding what he didn’t have… pace, motivation, and focus. You do not survive a season with Bielsa if you don’t put the work in, boast high levels of fitness, and have finesses on the ball with the ability to move the ball forward. While the internet was purring over Bissouma, their fans were purring over Ben White, who was named their player of the season in the fan vote. That’s the difference between actually watching Brighton and watching comps of Brighton.

James Maddison is an unquestionable talent that we lack. He’s 18 months younger than Grealish, 5 years younger than KDB, and since his Premier League debut he’s one bested by KDB for chance creation. How am I reading Arsenal fans scoff at this name? Someone moaned that he dresses like he’s buying from Hypebeast, what sort of criticism is that? If anything, signing him feels unrealistic because he’s the sort of player that ends up going to Chelsea or United.

Moving on two players of that age and profile moves us up a level instantly. You can’t argue the impact that would have on our season. When you ask Arsenal to spend some money, this is where the pennies should be going. If we’re trying to replicate the City model, this is our attempt at KDB and Dias.

I don’t even want to start on the Calvert Lewin rumors, that’d just be far too sexy for all of us to handle right now.

There’s still smart money to be spent elsewhere. Josh Doig, the Hibernian left-back, is being heavily linked. He’s 19-years-old and 6ft2, but he’s attracting a lot of attention. The worry is if Tierney breaks down, which is likely, you’ve an untested quantity filling in, but also, the benefit is then you are building out someone with a resale value and you also have a succession plan for KT (hopefully we don’t need one). The lesson from last season is young players are hungry and tend to take their chance. I’d be excited to have a promising back-up system being built out.

There’s a good keeper out there, somewhere, that we’ll have to pick up. Aaron Ramsdale for £20m does not feel like smart money when you can pick up someone like Onana for a pittance. Arsenal has been shocking with keeper signings over the years, our best #1 was Emi Martinez and we bombed him off. I know it goes without saying, but if you want an example of why a Ben White type player needs to be signed, just look at how our playing out the back dipped when Martinez left. The best keepers in world football these days can play through the lines better than Mo Elneny, we need to find one if we want to be more effective and unpredictable in this new system.

We also need to build out the right side of our defence. Cal Chambers is a very decent player, his delivery is excellent and he’s tactically astute (everyone at Arsenal loves him as well). The worry is that he very much looks like a centre-back playing right back. I have no idea where we’ll go here, but we need to find a player with the correct athletic profile that can invert. I know, I know… Ainsley could do that role, it’s such a shame he’d rather bum around in center-midfield at Watford than make a career at a club that could take him to the top but there we are. Delusions of grandeur is a bit of a problem with some of the Hale-Enders on the fringes.

We’ve also not spoken much about the #9 position, that might be because our hands are tied. I’m not sure anyone is giving Lacazette £180k a week and Auba on £350k a week is immovable unless he decides like Willian he just doesn’t fancy the slog. To be honest, I don’t think we’ll have a year like the last one from Auba again. The pattern of players we’re bringing in all points towards freeing him up earlier with better chances.

I also think Flo Balogun is going to be a very special player, he’s the closest player we have to Aguerro in style and athletic profile. I’m not sure how Arteta is going to manage his career because there’s a real story to be told with regards to loans. Do Arsenal keep Balogun on the bench like we did Eddie? Or do we send him on a short loan at the start of the season so he can develop in a starting 11? People get absolutely hysterical about loans, but forget that players like Harry Kane went on four of them. Same could be said of William Saliba. There’s no European football next season, what is best for his development? Our bench for 4 months, or Newcastle’s first team for the same time period to adapt to the language and the pace on someone else’s dime? Who knows, but the fact people get so emotional about it is a very, very Arsenal fan thing.

Finally, let’s talk about that time we spent a load of money with Lille that looked VERY odd. Remember I told you to look at the sort of people we were dealing with? Remember the exBarca exec that was at Lille at the time? Remember that outrageous fee we paid Lille who were in deep, deep shit that summer unless they sold at a big price?

If I speak, I am in trouble.

Football is a dirty game. Genaro Gattuso lost his job at Fiorentina after two weeks because he brought his super-agent buddy to the table. It is stunning that now Spurs are negotiating with him, mainly because he’s a bang-average coach, but also because it shows their lack of ideas… if you are outsourcing your Sporting Director role to a super-agent, you are fucked.

Talking of the Spurs manager job, let’s use this moment to highlight what I told you in December… fear what comes next. Spurs, for all the banter, is a London club with an elite stadium and a squad people thought could contend the title last season. They’ve been rejected by Poch and Conte. They had to lower themselves to Fonseca, who is a good coach, but coming out from under a cloud. Now they are bumming around with passion merchants and their unsavory handlers.

I’m telling you this because it feels like there’s a pattern emerging. The Premier League is the most competitive league in the world and rockstar managers will only join if they have to tools to win. The idea that we’ll sack Arteta and get Conte or Nagelsmann is fanciful because our project lacks elite levers. Spurs are struggling because no one wants to come here and fight four Goliaths with David money.

It’s still really funny though… really funny.

On that note, remember to check out the two podcasts we produced this week. They are of fine quality. Johnny is no full-time on the team, he changed his bio to reflect the blood agreement we have. Give him a follow on the internet here.

ACAST | Spotify | Stitcher | Google Play


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Number cruncher sent by the footballing gods, Adam Rae Voge (@AdamVoge), has dropped in with ANOTHER brilliant piece. Today, he’s focused on the potential signing of James Maddison. 

For all the talk of potential midfield, centre-back, and right-back additions at Arsenal this summer, there really hasn’t been talk about the incoming attacking midfielder. Why? It’s always been Martin Odegaard.

Until now.

With Odegaard being pretty consistently linked with a return to Spain, Arsenal fans got their first glimpse of a new creator this week, as reports linked the club to Leicester City creator extraordinaire James Maddison.



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Well, Arsenal transfer rumours took a rocket ship to the moon with stories emerging about a potential summer blockbuster of JAMES MADDISON TO THE GOONERS.

It’s a weird one, right?

It tells you a few things.

Firstly, there’s clearly a big pot of money on offer if we’re considering an English creator as part of the business this summer.

Secondly, if there’s a pattern emerging, it appears to be that we’re fixing the spine of the squad with Premier League ready players.



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Today’s guest post is brought to you by Adam Rae Voge (@AdamVoge). He’s a data wizard based in Minnesota, he likes to take complex datasets and make them easy to understand. This is a fun post, hopefully, you’ll nerd out on it like I did!


If Arsenal is going to return to the Champions League any time soon, it’s going to start with the midfield. No matter which way you look at it, it was a liability this past season. But how can the club fix its problems in the middle of the pitch? Is anyone we’re being linked to capable of fixing what ails the starting 11? And is anyone out there a solid option if current targets don’t work out?

That’s a complex issue, but thanks to data, we can get an idea of where to start.

Here’s a breakdown of a host of midfielders, including Arsenal’s currently-owned assets, using 25 key data points from Football Reference.

Arsenal’s current midfield: Defined by weakness

Any analysis of the road forward has to start with a glimpse at the present.



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Completely disagreeable I’m afraid.

The big story from an Arsenal perspective is that Kieran Tierney is out of the team for Scotland. I really wish he hadn’t made the Euros, I do worry about him for next season. So important, yet so prone to 6 weeks out. That’s why Arsenal needs to really think about who they sign as his understudy. I remember we wasted literally years in the hope Abou Diaby would be able to manage a whole season in the first team, we never signed a good backup, and we paid for it. The back-up position for left back needs to be well thought out. If you sign someone young and Tierney stays fit, you’ve ruined their career. If you sign someone too old and Tierney gets injured, you might be in trouble. If you keep Kola, it’s trouble.